Pam has studied psychology and is a mental health advocate. She wants to improve the lives of people.
Conflict is bound to arise in any relationship, especially a long-term one, as much as arguing with your partner might suck. At some point, you and your partner are going to have disagreements, no matter how strong and healthy your relationship is.
According to a survey, couples argue an average of 2,455 times a year.
You and your partner might argue a lot more than that. For every couple, things work differently. At the end of the day, the way you argue with your partner is more important than the number of times you argue.
In order to argue in a better and healthier way with your partner, you need to follow a 4-step guide.
It's time to stop trying to " win"
AxiosError: Request failed with status code 500 There is a person called g. To convince their partner to change their minds and emotionally dominate them.
In this article, the School of Life explains.
If we assume that the way to fix an argument is to attempt to reach an objective truth that can, once it has been brought out into the open, counteract the force of the fierce offence we feel, we will make a lot of mistakes. It doesn't matter what the truth is, there's an unfortunate side to arguments in relationships. The stronger case is by who. It is an irrelevance who has the ability to win.
There is no objective truth and no right or wrong when it comes to differences of opinions. It's natural for your opinions on various subjects to be different because you and your partner were raised in different environments and with different values.
Power plays shouldn't be transformed into arguments. The point of an argument is for the two people involved to listen, try to understand each other, and work together in order to fix the situation that caused the argument.
Take a look at what hides behind your anger
Behind our arguments with our partners, we often hide our unmet needs or unresolved feelings, although we might not realize it at the moment.
In his article in Psychology Today, psychologist Seth J. Gillihan explains.
Our partner treats us unkindly and we get angry, so we think that events cause our feelings. There is always a step between event and emotion.
She didn't care about me and took 4 hours to reply.
If you want to have better arguments with your partner, it would be a good idea to take a break and do some self-reflection.
You can share your true needs with your partner
It might be hard to be completely honest with your significant other and let them know how you feel.
Without doing so, conflict and negative feelings will continue to arise between you and your partner, you will both begin to struggle in your relationship, and the relationship itself will begin to decline.
You got into an argument with your partner about how often they go out with friends. You could say things like "you keep leaving all the household chores to me" or "I think that your friends are a terrible influence on you".
You might come off as jealous and controlling if you say these things because you fear that your partner is getting bored of you.
You going out with your friends all the time makes me feel invisible, that's what you really need to say. I'm afraid that you're not interested in me anymore because of your feelings towards me.
If your partner gave you the reassurance and sense of security that you were looking for, you wouldn't care about how often they went out with their friends.
Apologize in an effective way
It is easier for some people to apologize than it is for other people.
Some of us were forced by our parents to apologize whenever we did something wrong, while others apologized out of our own will, and we felt better for doing so.
If you want a long-term relationship, you need to learn to apologize sincerely and effectively after an argument with your partner.
You show your significant other that you are sorry by apologizing sincerely.
You need to apologize sincerely and effectively. There is a person called g. It's clear to your partner that you feel sorry for your mistakes, and will do your best not to repeat them, in a way that makes it clear.
Instead of saying, "I don't agree with you/I don't understand you but I apologize anyway", try to say, "I don't agree with you/I don't understand you but I apologize anyway".
I would like to apologize for hurting your feelings. I want you to feel important to me, so I will try to not make you feel that way again.
Sometimes saying something isn't enough. It's how you say it that matters the most.
The bottom line is what it is
Many people complain about how often they argue with their partners and wonder if they would be able to improve their relationship if they could prevent arguments from happening.
Conflict, arguments, and disagreements are a natural part of any relationship and there is no way to avoid them.
Even the couples that are happy argue. Learning how to argue in a better, healthier way is the trick here, not just to minimize your arguments.
The content is accurate and true to the best of the author's knowledge, but is not meant to be a substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
